They are a beautiful, sun-bronzed family of five from Holland, who in a few years will probably be missing a few teeth, fingers, and possibly entire sun-bronzed family members. This is because, unlike normal fabulously wealthy people, the so-called “Bitcoin Family” just can’t STFU when it comes to talking about how fabulously wealthy they are.
I’m talking, of course, about the Taihuttus, Bitcoin’s answer to The Brady Bunch. A family of five from Holland, who made a decision to ditch the Dutch rat race in 2017.
Their goal? To live life to the fullest by traveling in perpetuity, documenting their latest adventures on YouTube along the way. Their secret weapon? Bitcoin – and apparently lots of it.
Being Fabulously Bitcoin Wealthy Can Be Deadly
The Bitcoin Family first came on my radar in 2017. This was when the not-yet-as-sun-bronzed Taihuttus first became a hit on the crypto podcast scene.
Like many, I was insanely jealous of the fact that the Taihuttus had got into Bitcoin so early that they could already afford to retire. Since then, though, the Taihuttus have taken their Bitcoin Family brand to a whole new level.
As well as books, Bitcoin Family trading bots, and a booming channel on YouTube, the Bitcoin Family today are stars of their very own Amazon Prime series. That’s right, they’re raking it in.
There is just one problem.
Over the past few years, the Bitcoin and wider crypto scene has been left reeling after the brazen kidnappings and murders of several people with connections to the crypto space.
- In May 2025, a young Italian escaped a house of horror in New York, where for 17 days two suspects, who are now in custody, allegedly tortured the Italian with a chainsaw, electric shocks, and forced ingestion of narcotics. The alleged assailants’ goal? To have the Italian give up the passwords and private keys of his personal Bitcoin wallet.
- On May 1st in France, the father of a Parisian crypto millionaire was rescued by police after already having a finger removed by kidnappers, who were demanding $6 million for the individual’s safe return to his son.
- In November 2024, crypto financier and CEO of WonderFi, Dean Skurka, was kidnapped in Montreal before paying his own ransom to secure his release.
This list could go on and on. The key takeaway is that if you are someone of renown with a significant crypto portfolio, it’s high time you thought about staying out of the media spotlight. Hell, I know I would.
Where Bitcoin Security Meets The Dunning-Kruger Effect
In response to recent kidnappings, 17-day chainsaw torture sessions, and likely less than sterile finger amputations, CNBC recently caught up once more with the famous Bitcoin Family to see how they keep abreast of their own crypto security. That article is here.
Sadly, while reading about the steps which the Taihuttus have apparently taken to protect themselves and their crypto savings from opportunist kidnappers, I couldn’t help but think… Jesus Christ, They’re Fucked.
You see, for as smart and savvy entrepreneurs as the Taihuttus are, they seem to be suffering from something known as The Dunning-Kruger Effect. This is where someone assumes themselves to be superbly good at something when, in reality, they lack all but basic competency.
To demonstrate, Didi Taihuttu, the patriarch of the Bitcoin Family, was happy to gush to CNBC about how he currently stores the bulk of his crypto holdings entirely offline. Of course, anyone with any brains does the same thing. However, Didi has gone one step further, namely, by physically dividing the 24-word recovery phrases needed to access his family’s funds, before hiding segments of said recovery phrases in several global locations.
According to Didi, some portions of some recovery phrases are hidden in rental properties in Europe, while corresponding parts of the same phrases are simultaneously hidden away in self-storage facilities in South America. This means that even if someone holds a gun to him, Didi can’t meet a potential ransomer’s demands, as he simply doesn’t have access to the bulk of his family’s Bitcoin to begin with.
What Didi Should Have Done
It should be obvious to anyone with a little basic crypto know-how that dividing recovery phrases similarly to how Didi Taihuttu has is a smart move. Who knows what might happen, though, if the Bitcoin Family were to rock up to a holiday rental which they have made use of previously, only to discover that the property in question has since been put on the market or been subject to an extensive refurbishment?
Kidnapping, extortion, and blackmail are also very serious crimes that attract only the most seasoned of career criminals. These are people who won’t simply let you go when you say you can’t pay them because you don’t have your Bitcoin recovery phrase with you.
At the very least, such people will make you watch as they pull a few of your kids’ teeth out to see what your next answer is. – And yes, that sounds grim. Let’s remember, though, that just such a crypto kidnapping took place recently in New York, where the victim was tortured for 17 days before he was able to escape.
In my humble opinion, the best thing that anyone like the Taihuttus can, therefore, do to protect themselves from harm is exit the media spotlight ASAP. After all, that’s what Satoshi Nakamoto did…
My Message to The Bitcoin Family
If Didi Taihuttu or any other member of the Bitcoin Family is reading this, it is not my intention to scare you. I am envious when it comes to your success and lifestyle. However, I am serious when I say that for your own safety, you might want to consider becoming a little more anonymous. Right now, you are almost as easy to geo-locate in real-time as a piece of lost luggage with an Apple AirTag. So go dark. Go somewhere unannounced, de-Google yourselves, and just live happily, albeit a little more quietly, for a few years.
What’s the worst that can happen if you do so?